God's gifts

For almost 25 years i basically fed/served/worshiped the(my) flesh. So it's become fat, loud, demanding and very self-centered. Looking back on the work God has done in my life, i see miracles. The fact that He can make my flesh shut up is a miracle. The fact that He gives me a desire to serve Him against my flesh is a miracle. The fact that i'm still feeding my flesh and God still works and changes my heart is a miracle. The fact that He shows me that when i feed it, it stands in the way of me being changed in the image of Christ and makes that a motivation for me to want to be changed is a miracle.

I'm the kind of person who needs to understand everything. One of the main reasons i never liked church when i was growing up was that nobody and nothing there would make me think. The Romanian orthodox church encourages a lot the "believe and don't question" attitude. This is one of the reasons "love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind" makes so much sense to me. I love God and i really appreciate the work He's doing in me, but i'm so much happier when i understand it. When i open the Bible and read about it. Pastor Rick said in the sermon he gave yesterday that one of the reasons He knows the Bible is the Word of God is because it is so right about his (my,our) heart. And it is! For me it's so great to experience God in my life and then read about it. It's so edifying to have that confirmation from the word of God, it brings unity and consistency in what's going on.

The fact that God confronts the sin in our heart is just the greatest gift. I realized that the other day when i was talking to my mom about our call to confronting brothers/sisters when they are sinning. I was thinking how horrible it would be if God would not show us our sin (by the work of the Holy Spirit in our hearts or by making others come and confront us) and after we would die He would meet with us, pull out our folder and show us all the things we've done wrong. The fact that He's showing us that every day so we would have the chance of asking for forgiveness and learn from it is the greatest thing! And what a gift that He humbles our hearts that we would see when we are wrong!

God is so perfect! Another great thins i was thinking He's doing is: the more i learn about Him, His nature, His purpose, His plans, the more i hate my flesh. My loud, demanding, selfish flesh. Every thing that confronts it, slaps it, makes it shut up by the authority of His Word is like a breath of fresh air to my soul. I love listening to sermons that confront my sin. I love teaching that talks about the nature of God, because they expose my heart to God's light and nothing is more humbling. I want to see my sin, so i can repent of it. God's light on my heart makes me see i have nothing to be proud of, but on the contrary: i don't deserve anything i have. God's light on my heart dissolves my self-centeredness and pride. And His grace makes me long for His light, for His truth. It is a miracle that i want to starve my flesh and that i only want to hear about God's perfect grace.

Currently listening : "All hail the power of Jesus' Name"